Exchange I

I wanted to write a poem about how I will drink
Until the sound of your name doesn't hurt anymore,
Until the memory of your laughter doesn't quite sting,
Or remembering how we played isn't so sore.
I wanted to write about how one day you'll be a memory
On my tongue, a ghost on my soul...
But you're already one of those things, what was the hurry?
This was supposed to be about how you're temporary,
Nothing more than a passing train in the night...
About how nothing lasts, and how isn't that scary?
But no, you're just gone and it sucks.
I can barely keep my hands steady
I can't write and can barely just type...
I can feel the alcohol through my system
And it can't even put a small dent...
You will always remain a fresh wound in my soul,
The sign of my disintegrating..
You will be the one thought of my childhood...
My first love, my first friend, my first heartbreak.
You will be what has kept me together
In so many nights of despair...
And I miss you like crazy, you jackass,
And I would sell my own soul to exchange it for yours.