I Love You

"I love you."
The words come rushing out of my mouth
Like the ball of a cannon, at thousand feet per second,
Both startling me and ripping me from the inside.
I am left a blubbering idiot with a hole in my chest,
Unable to process what any of this means to me
What it means to you or if I should take it back...
But my mind is screaming at a thousand miles per second
"I love you, I love you, I love you!"
And yet, simultaneously it's whispering for me to turn and run,
As if the gaping hole in my chest would let all the love leak,
As if the ever growing puddle at my feet would ever become
More than words scribbled angrily on the page of my notebook.
I want to bolt, every nerve in my brain firing at a million miles a minute,
Telling my legs to move, telling my heart to beat faster,
To escape through the chink in my rib cage
And move to a place more suitable for living.
My lips redden and I feel them vibrating against my teeth,
My teeth that now rip them apart in order to keep them shut
And the blood on my tongue never felt as bitter as now...
And it never felt so wrong to keep my mouth shut.
My eyes are tumultuous waterfalls stuck on the edge of a glass,
And every new drop could break the dam and unleash more
Of these treacherous thoughts flying through my head...
Demons that whisper in my head about those beautiful lips of yours,
Or point out that the way the light hits your eyes makes them iridescent...
These blabbering idiots cannot seem to stop telling me how lovely you are,
When your features relax as you slip into sleep,
Or how your skin feels against mine when I settle against you...
They refuse to let me forget how your fingertips felt against me,
Holding me closer to you until I practically melted into a puddle at your feet.
No, the words will never come rushing out of my mouth.
Not when you're near me and that's the only thought in my mind,
Not when you're laying against me holding me tightly against you...
The words will never rush out if I have to nail my heart to my ribs,
Or bite off my lips to keep them from laughing your name...
And still, I love you. And still, the words come rushing out,
And before I can stop them, before I can make one more terrified sound
I look around and you're already gone.