This Is Me

This is who I am, laughing at your stupid jokes,

Playing along with your terrible ideas,

Keeping an eye on what’s around us

Just in case.

This is who I am, messing around,

Arms open wide towards the sky,

Nothing can stop me,

This is me.

This is who I am, curled up on the couch,

My head in a page, a universe somewhere,

I’m a million miles away, smiling,

Lost in thought.

This is who I am, I get upset,

Drink too much to lose my head

And when I do, I make myself feel better,

I often do.

This is who I am, I make bad decisions,

I push myself to say what I should when I don’t want to,

And reap the consequences

I’m terrified.

This is who I am, I turn up the music,

I close my eyes and lose myself in the beat,

I can think in the noise…

And I’m fucked up.

This is who I am, lost inside a tissue box,

Crying so hard I can’t keep breathing,

Shaking to my very core,

I am alone.

This is who I really am, blood stained,

I relapse sometimes into old habits

Of temporary relief… I regain footing,

In wrong ways.

This is who I am, loyal to the last drop of blood,

I say it like I think it, and I stand behind my words…

I’m more level-headed than I seem,

I really am.

This is who I am, I hide behind my words,

I write them in 1000 journals, on gilded pages,

And when I close the book, my soul remains…

Ink stained.

This is who I am, take it or leave it,

But I hope you stay, since I am tired

Of always defending myself…

I'm working on it..