Angel's Suicide

Poetry's irrelevant, why am I typing?
It doesn't matter, it never matters, back to the routine.
Mind closed off to others, heart locked away,
Does being invincible equal it out?
Doubt it. One way to find out.
I'm starting to think I should have died a while ago
It doesn't matter anymore, nothing lasts.

Angels got shot down, their wings bleeding in front of me,
And I crave the sweet sins...
They cry and beg for more than this death,
Even the criminals have humane executions,
Aren't they just that?

I used to think my angel stood beside me,
Watched everything, came to guide me,
It just hit me now, like a brick from the wall...
He took his own life, we took it too far.

Another light has gone out, no need for cheers,
Not proud of what I've done not proud of anyone...
Always a quitter, from day one I began,
Another lullaby another era of self harm
And it never mattered, wished for something more,
Fighting for forgiveness, I've done that before.

Redemption, and a lack of direction have friction
It never mattered, find another reason
To live, I have forgotten, the world and promises given,
Give, give, and take, I gave all I had,
I'm left standing here empty and alone.
It doesn't matter, don't think it ever did,
Something forgiven, take what you need and leave..
It's an endless song and book of poetry,
Before I make you cry, just hurt me.

He couldn't stand it, we pushed it too far,
Lack of direction, redemption, that was his plan,
To push me along, and allow me to find myself,
Now I'm stuck here, forgetting the light
It's all too bright and it hurts my eyes,
In the distance the sole, bloody cry
Of an infant punctures the sky
And I sing again a blood lullaby.

And I pity you, I promise I do,
You pity me and I hurt you.
It's a cycle that doesn't break, it never should...
I am a selfish creature, hoped you knew,
I'll want my freedom and I'll want yours too...
Be mine forever and appreciate the truth,
From hell's abyss I've been watching you
An angel's kiss can be poison but who
Cares? It doesn't matter, never did
Come closer, mortal I have what you need...
Wrap my wings around you, you're safe now..
Surrender your soul, your heart, your compassion...
Come back from hell
To watch the suicide of an angel.