Coping Mechanisms

So what if I spend my nights in strangers' beds,
Or lose myself in broken midnight moans?
So what if I searched for peace in every empty bottle,
Or every end of exhaled cigarettes?
What if I look for you in every pair of eyes
That looks at me with hunger and desire,
In every pair of lips that moans my name
Like you never have and never would again?
What if their hands leave marks on me and what
If their fingertips write a thousand stories
In purple ink upon my milky skin,
In crimson fear inside my broken will?
What if they claw at me and rip me into shreds,
Or bite my neck and squeeze the dark again,
What if they throw me into walls and beds?
Not like you and I will ever play again...
What if I look for you in broken lines and needles,
And scratch my skin to ribbons... needing?
What if I'd look for you in pools of broken mirrors,
In heaven or in hell and everything between 'em?
What if I spend my nights in strangers' heads,
Dancing through their dreams and waking them instead,
What if I make them scream? What if I make them moan,
What do you care? You'll never come back home.