Dead

You're dead.
There, I said it.
It's taken months for me to utter the words
Since they get stuck in my throat
And pull at my skin
Leaving me drowning in blood.
I'll never see you again,
And I should just tear out my eyes
Because there is nothing worth looking at anymore...
And I seem to be the only one not able to cope
Then only one still waiting to wake up
From this fucking nightmare
And how fucking could you
Just fall off the map and leave me behind like that?
How am I to cope where I don't remember a world without you,
Or a time where my heart beat without you....
And I've loved you since I was 2
Before I knew what it meant
Before I knew I would love you forever.
And now you're gone.
And I'll never get the chance to see you,
The man you've become
And tell you I love you more than I thought,
And you'll never see this pain in my bones
Like a tear in time, space, and my soul
You won't see how I can't drink a drop
Or taste food or even just stop
For a minute without pain in my chest
Or have a fucking second to forget
That you're fucking dead.