High School

If I close my eyes and I have never left your side.
I'm still stuck inside the car in that old parking lot
With your mouth glued to my neck and my hands around your back
Constantly pulling you close.
I'm still sat up on the deck after the sun has long since set
With your hand glued to my hand and my eyes upon the sky and look,
Here comes Orion.
I remember dangling with your fingers on my skin,
Threatening to toss me into the cold pool water....
Or, oh my god, those stripper shorts
With the buttons on the sides
That I'd pull apart sometimes and laugh so hard!
Or when I finally turned sixteen with those hot tears on my skin,
I do remember all your tricks just to make me grin a bit
And boy did you tumble and squeeze until I felt okay again.
I remember waiting, still, on the bench out by the street
Until I'd see you come right near
And how my heart would used to drum inside my chest.
Or when I saw you in your greens after you were a marine,
And the balls it took from me to keep my eyes away from you.
I remember walking laps with your arms across my lap
And listening to stories of all you've seen and done.
Or when you took me to buy pants
And let me change out of my skirt
Before you took me through the dirt on base that day...
And I remember how you smiled
When that skirt was really tight or when my skin burned at your touch,
Fuck how you scared me.
Oh how I wanted you so bad to be the first I ever had
To be the glue that kept me still when I got lost.
And how I didn't realize that you became my safest spot,
But I still drive by your old place when nothing seems to go my way
Because for some reason our spots make me feel fine.
And I remember that park at night when I snuck out those times
Just to sit still at your side at least once more.
How did it break?
How did it turn so fast from "Shit I want this" to "I guess fuck that"?
When you were always the one to know my broken heart,
The worry in your eyes at each new sparkling scratch,
And I do wonder if you knew how bad I needed to escape the hell I lived in.
I saw your stress at the next deeper cut and maybe wondered if I'll ever stop.
Somehow, I did it.
How did it turn so sour and how did the distance creep?
I never knew if I was in too deep,
I always wondered just what you felt for me and
Suddenly you weren't just my marine.
Fast forward to today to a million talks
Of kids and homes and wives
And a bunch of other stuff and the craziest thing...
My heart still drums like crazy when your name pops up,
My panties soaked my jeans at your dirty talk,
You make me want to kneel and do just what you say
Because your voice alone can make me go insane...
I don't know how you do it, drive me up a wall,
When all you do is sit there and all you do is drive,
I miss that hand buried somewhere up my thigh...
Or god damn your long fingers wrapped around my neck
With your lips pressed hard so I can hear your breath,
Your handprints on my skin and my skin buzzing hard,
And yes I'm soaked and all I think about is the next trip,
Next call, next text when you can make me feel like I am just the best
When you can make me float upon the highest clouds
Or turn me on so hard I pant thinking about the things you promise me
The things you say you'll do and though we're still apart it still comes back to you...
Although I still wonder where my footing is,
Just what you think and feel and what's up so damn deep...
I wonder if I ever wander through some dream and you're dreaming about me,
Or my mouth that can start or end wars and everything in between...
So when I say that I feel like I am back in school
When all I'm doing is hanging out with you...
Despite still being clueless of what I mean to you
I'm thinking of all the things you made me feel and think
And know,no matter what, I'm always yours, marine.