Terrified

It's late and I am terrified of everything that moves
Inside or outside or anywhere that has to do with me...
I have no words to write down what's in my head
Because everything is a jumbled mess of phrases
And stories I once wished to write...
Stories I would kill to want to write again.
3 am.... the witching hour is upon me and I wait so patiently
For my demons to escape their little cages
And come running to my bedside for another chat, for another smack.
Outside my window I can hear the devil calling
With his honey velvet tongue for me to come
For me to lay down my defenses and surrender
To the magic he can offer me but only for tonight....
And I am terrified of everything that has not come
And everything that finally passed
And I am stuck in this maddening limbo
Of moving too fast or being frozen still.
And yet.... I breathe you in just for a second
And let yourself surround all that I have....
Just for a moment frozen in time I am inside your shields dear lover of mine.