Away

There's another empty glass of wine on the bar,
A cigarette burnt out on my thigh and I've hurt myself again.
There's another bloodied knife in the wall, where I threw it
After I drew your last words on my thigh,
After I told myself for the thousandth time that I
Will never be enough.
There's another waiting car on the lawn,
Idling the gas away while I stare into the darkness ahead.
While I weigh the pros and cons of death for the millionth time,
And I'm so sorry for letting this go, for not telling you the truth.
There's another needle thrown around on the floor,
And I'm high, out the door, walking through traffic,
Waiting for trains to come by, to tear me from life...
Because this isn't living while you are away.