Hate

I hate you in all the ways I should not hate you...

I hate you in the quiet of the night when all I can hear
Is the miserable beating of my heart in the dark...

I hate you in the middle of breakfast,
When I sit alone at the table eating cold toast...

I hate you during my showers when all I can feel
Is the water dripping on the floor...

I hate you when it's pouring outside...
When I stand in the doorway wrapped in my blanket...

I hate you during the rush hour in traffic...
When there's nothing moving and I'm all alone...

I hate you during concerts when that song comes on
And you're not there to smile and hold my hand.

I hate you when I'm at work and I look at the door
Hoping you would come up the stairs at any moment...

I hate you most of all, when I am writing about you
And I know you will never know my words, or how much
I really don't hate you.