Addict

Hi, I'm Sparks and I'm an addict.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm addicted to, but I'm certainly an addict.
I think I'm addicted to many things at once, and with each heartbeat,
I feel myself getting deeper and deeper in the hole.
Maybe I'm addicted to the tone of his voice,
Or the optimism stuck in his throat when he mentions his plans for the future,
Or maybe I just can't get enough of the innocence in his veins...
Perhaps I'm addicted to the way he makes me responsible,
How he makes me feel like the adult...
The way he wears me out,
Or maybe...
Maybe I'm addicted to the way he makes me feel alive...
Maybe I'm addicted to my silly shows,
Or reading more and more..
But maybe the source of my addiction '
Is how poor my judgment is
When it comes to him...
When I feel his pain...
I want to make it better...
I am such an addict,
To how he makes me feel,
So empowered, like everything's been real
And nothing I can do or say
Will drive the sonvabitch away...
I know that I'm addicted... to how it all works out...
But you know, I can't help but struggle...
With it all.

I'm Sparks, and I'm addicted to this circumstance....
I wanna get away but every time I do...
I come back for a fix....
I hate myself some times...
But cannot get away...