If I died today...

...tell my mother I adored her and I couldn't have wished for a better mother.
...tell my father I was proud of him and wished he kept it up.
...tell my cousins they were my role models and I valued them.
...tell my aunts and uncles they were wonderful.
...tell my grandfather I'm with grandma now, and I'll look after them until he comes.
...tell my grandmother, I'm with grandpa now, and we're all smiling down.
...tell my friends I love them, and will until time ends...
...tell my girlfriends they're what kept me sane...
...tell my exes, thank you, they gave me my strength...
...tell my boyfriend, baby, I wish you all the best, thank's for loving me unlike the rest.
...and tell Butterfly, he's my heart's escape, I'll look after him until his last breath.

If I died today, from anything at all, remind the ones I love that they were my walls,
They're what kept me safe, and what kept me sane,
Without them at my side I would have died in vein,
If someone ended me, please let him go unscathed,
Even if on purpose, I don't really care.
Tell the ones that lost me, that I went with a smile,
I saw the face of angels to take me to my place,
Tell them I'll be waiting beneath my cherry tree
Until they, when it's time, will come to me.
If I died today, tell them I loved them too much,
That I departed happy and a little sad,
That I'll be watching closely and keep the demons out,
Tell them, please my dearest,
I am where I belong.

Once More

In your arms I feel safe I feel untouchable ,
When the clock strikes midnight, I am free!
The silence of the world around me
Silences my worries, dearest one.
In the stillness of the midnight glory,
I am free from worry and I am free of sin,
For when the clock chimes twelve times in a row...
The world is still and I am yours once more. 

Stilled Mind

I wished to still my mind so I may catch my breath,
And instead I found a silence so unbearable!
The quiet and the stillness is quite fragile, now,
And all the quiet thoughts that were
Are now too loud.
The doubts are magnified, the fears as well,
The moment the loneliness subsides
The hell, that was no longer is,
And in its place lies simple tragedy.
Not tragedy for my innocent soul,
But for the Darkness that used to control
My every moment, my every movement,
My lack of motivation,
My slow improvement!
In an instant, I can feel the Light break in
And in it's path, it silences all things!
What lies ahead, I see, the Darkness from within
Can  be no match to Light and it will win!
I stilled my mind to catch my breath for you,
Indubitably I lost my footing and my balance,
And fell into the dark abyss of doubting you, but then
The light that came into my life has changed my look,
And I can see you now with fresh-washed eyes....
I can tell you now, while I'm myself,
That you are worth the questions and the doubt,
For in your arms I'm still, I'm quiet, and
In your embrace all that was no longer is,
And all I am is willing to remain unmoved
As long as you give this the chance
You promised me you would.

Dear Old Friend

I'm glad to see, my dear, old friend, that you have changed.
I'm glad to see the smile you wear upon your face,
It's strange, but oh so mesmerizing.
There's wonder in those eyes of yours,
A light I have once seen,
And in those silky lips of yours,
Where silly sin does lie...
Does lie some positivity
And compromise.

Time

Whereas then, the world was filled with color,
And every shade was just intoxicating,
When psychedelic colors filled every moment..
Now, the shades of gray are overwhelming,
And the apathy within can tear the soul to shreds
Within the passing of one's inhaled breath.

The mercury within the veins has slowed to tar,
And the excitement of the moment calmed us down...
The ticking clock has stopped and time stood still,
And in his tight embrace we bury our faces.
He makes everything safe...
He makes everything worth it.

Apathy

I'm not the type of girl to tell you what to do,
And I expect the same from you.
But if there's one thing I wish wouldn't be..
Is the god damned, stupid, apathy.

First Christmas

Indubitably, Christmas isn't celebrated everywhere,
But where you are, I am, and there lies Heaven...
The first Christmas spent alone
Is not as painless as your first besides them.
Smile for me, darling, Christmas comes again...
Open your arms and let me snuggle in.

Poetry

It can be quite lovely to watch fingers slide across the keyboard,
And watch the pen caress the paper leaving marks...
The stream of consciousness o'er flows
Releasing in its path the wonders of the universe...
Sharing the beauty of the inner soul
And leaving behind a masterpiece so delicate,
So perfect and so brilliant.
Unlike the untouched snow of Christmas morning,
The ink spilled on the page as words does stain,
But unlike blasphemy of tainted snow,
The excellent prophecy written by hand
Can stay untouched for centuries,
Shared only with those worthy of excellence
Shared with those that have the purest souls.

Marine's Eyes

Curiosity struck again, and I looked through some photos of you.
There was much to be seen and much to be thought
But one thing has remained unchanged:
Your eyes.
They're the same baby blue they have always been,
And there's an emptiness that she has not filled,
It seems like you have not changed a bit,
You're the same.
You called her "wife" much too soon, I believe,
And if you rushed it, I wish you the best
But your eyes tell me something they always have...
You're alone.
Regardless, I regret nothing, my dear...
I made the correct choice for me...
And although I'm happy for you
I've moved on.

No Escape

With closed eyes I can see his face near mine,
And I feel the icy breath upon my sleepy neck.
His cold hands cross boundaries unknown
To man, or god, or ancient heroes...
He passes all barriers and breaks all comfort levels,
He pushes clothing up and away...
He touches skin with silky, icy fingers,
And pulls me to him as to declare
"She's mine".

With motionless muscles I feel his weightless body,
Lying on top of mine, so still, so fragile and
Completely flawed as I am.
His nose nuzzles my nose as if to wake me up,
And from my breath he steals what little's left
Of hope, and life, and ethereal substance...
He almost pulls the life from me...
He almost stops my beating heart
"No, not yet, my dear."

With blood-red eyes I stare into his eyes,
And see the lack of light behind those black holes in his...
I pull him closer to me, I bite his cherry lips,
And break the skin as if to promise him,
That when the moment comes, and he thinks I'm submissive,
I'll tear his skin from flesh as if to eat him.
If I'm not ready to walk besides him in the dark
He and my soul will not embark to anywhere.
"I can fight back".


With angry words he lifts himself off me,
And reaches for his weapon, void of mercy,
With scythe in hand he slices up my chest,
Touches my beating heart with a salty face...
Pulls back my ribs and pokes it with his blade,
And in a second, life's mysteries unveiled
We all mate with him at some point in our life...
Usually the end of it, and not while alive... said
"There's no escape" ... and left.

He Comes

With cold, long fingers he touches my neck,
And traces simple patterns over my chest...
He stops his scythe's sharp blade over my heart,
And pulls me closer to bite my tongue.
His eyes are hollow and void of light and hope,
There's nothing to be felt inside his shallow lungs,
For when the night is young and he has had his fix,
He'll leave me breathless as if to promise
His return, his need for more,
And my death, despite implore.

The World Stops

The world stops when you're next to me,

And nothing seems to touch me, except you.

And in your arms I am invincible.

Your lips against my lips, the purest ecstasy...

And playing with my hair puts me to sleep

Effortlessly.

Soundlessly.

Blissfully.

Wonderfully.

The world is quiet and all is still,

No one says a thing and all we do is breathe...

In your eyes there's gold and mine have crimson in them

But while your fingers are intertwined with mine,

The world stops spinning, and it's just you and I.

Amazing

When you're breathless and twitchy and my hair's out of the way...

When there's no one around and we're tucked safely away...

When all you can do is swear under your breath,

And tighten your hand on the back of my neck...

When my breath on your skin preps you for sin...

When my tongue dances around playfully...

When your mind stops working properly...

The one coherent word that spills from your mouth

Is "amazing".

Butterfly Weddings

Dear Butterfly,
I had a dream today,
While waiting in an office quite in public,
And it froze my very soul and this just shouldn't happen.
I dreamt you got down on one knee
And pulled this shiny ring...
You asked her "will you marry me?"
And "Yes" was in a heartbeat.
Now, I know it's not my place,
I have my own perfection...
But don't marry Sillygirl,
Dearest, you would regret it.
Don't ask me either, I'm too far,
And far too busy and happy....
But don't marry Sillygirl,
My dear, you won't be happy.
Dear butterfly I woke up stiff
And my cheeks were cold with worry
Sillygirl might fuck with you
And that just isn't worth it.
So have your fun and play your game,
And learn all you can learn...
But don't you dare drop on your knee
And just propose to her.

Sweetness

There's something fairly addictive about the ways these names roll off the tongue,
And if he ever calls me "baby" I highly doubt I'd turn to run.
"Oh darling", is intoxicating, "Sweetheart" just melts the soul...
"Dearest" is quite something, aint' it,
And "love" warms to to the core.

Clarity

There are mumbled thoughts floating through my mind,
And I can't seem to silence them enough to sleep.
There's no incentive, the sheets are cold
And there's something frightening about the lack of heat.
This beating heart of mines is breaking its own record,
And I can't even count its speed when you are on my mind,
But even though the night is restless, darling...
There's one clear thought, and it says you are mine.

When I think of You

My heart beats faster when I think of you,
And I wonder, darling, if I'm on your mind.
Thinking ahead to your next embrace
And it's as if lightning struck my very core
And my body buzzes.
My thoughts jumble when I think of you,
And I wonder, dear, if you miss my scent.
If the perfume left on your pillow
Evaporated, yet.
My eyes brighten when I think of you,
And I wonder, honey, if yours do as well,
And I wonder sometimes if this is still a dream,
But I remember now, this sweet reality.

The Death of Me

My heart stopped skipping beats with each ring of my phone,
Only to know now that it should still worry about this.
The dreaded phone call of your quiet heart
Would freeze me to death.
The key, dear is to live your life,
As if tomorrow's coming..
Because in your case, my dear...
Your death would be the death of me.