Done With You

If I could cut you from my skin,

I'd cut you thoroughly,

I'd cut the bone,

The marrow through

Wouldn't be an issue

I'm sick of this

I'm sick of you .

You break me through and through

Begone I say,

Just go away,

I'm done with you.

Story of a Fallen

From the edge of the clouds he took the plunge

And landed broken on the edge of the cliffs...

He whimpered, he whispered, and begged for forgiveness

Knowing, it won't be received.

His wings were battered and broken,

His blood soaked in through the sheets...

The feathers were ruffled and missing,

And his eyes were void of belief.

The faith in his heart had been broken,

The pieces cut him inside...

The cry his soul was withholding

Was heard by both Adam and Eve.

The body laid on the ground

Did not move for a few centuries...

The blood from him wounds was expunged,

And Hell opened wide to receive.

He laid on the ground, crumpled and broken,

He cursed the above for their deed...

He hated the world for allowing

This angel to fall for his need.

His wings grew dark by the moment,

The wounds refused to close up...

His brothers were watching, the killers,

The damned wouldn't hush up.

The angel found a new vessel,
Entered a body so clean...

Changed the soul that was given,

Did so to get what he'd need.

The child grew up so surprising
A man to stand in his place...
The angel was guiding the young one

The angel would never change.

The anger they shared was so icy,
The sharpness in it was to die...

The angel used it to show him

That he won't be deceived.

The boy grew stronger each day,

They grew together like stone,

But the brothers were watching,

They knew of the plan all along.

Along game a child that was broken,

Her wings were as white as can be,

She shattered her hands in the ice of their hearts,

And told the brothers they're free.

She wasn't an angel like he was,

She was the pet of a man...

The angel himself was a strong one

Who loved to keep her around.

The man, was an archangel,

The boy he was watching was strong,

The child made her decisions,

"The boy and the angel are mine."

Between you and them, I stand fearless...

I am alone, but they know of my worth.
Sleep without problems, child...

I got you tonight.

Thanks

Thank you for teaching me I was better off alone,
That my trust was misplaced again and I should have backed off.

Thank you for teaching me I was worthless,
Because my worth was defined by you.

Thank you for teaching me I was powerless,

My power was always second to yours.

Thank you, for showing me death,

It now is, my favorite sport.

Late At Night

Sensual games played in the dead of night,

Where you innocence had been is now a gaping hole...

With inexplicable precision I am drawn to you

But you, my dear, are nothing but a child.

Secret societies have been established here,

And Heaven was witness to indecency...

None I could have been able to stop,

But came alone again, to play with you

Alone. At night. Between your sheets

And in your arms alone I'd be able to fall asleep.

I cannot swear to love, cannot swear I'm fine,

But I will do all I can to keep you mine.

Bonded

My bond with you is withering away

And with it goes the essence of my very soul.

I wish I could replenish life within our hearts,

But it's not up to me to save us anymore.

My life is going out, my light can't save me now,

I wish you came to me when you needed help

For I'm the guardian that bonded to your soul,

I'm the line of life you can't break anymore.

I love you always, dear.

I'll love you evermore.

But if you want my help you'll have to ask for it.

My bond with you is withering away

And with it goes the essence of my very soul

It's up to you if we live or die

So tell me, dearest, what will my fate be?

*Note: Wrote this quite literally AS I woke up, so it probably doesn't make much sense. Sorry.

Just like Me

There is nothing in your eyes

And the vast emptiness scares me...

No traces of the man in my mind,
And from his lips comes just air.

I would fight for the right to keep fighting,

Break through your chains and be free,

But there's no will, no life inside

And in these bones, lies a ghost just like me.

Break my heart, for in this moment I am yours,

I am naked, I'm exposed, and I am absolutely terrified.

Break my spirit for it wanders far,

It runs through lives, places, and far away paradise.

Break my body, for it will do you wonders,

Never straying away, but available to be abused.

Break me, hurt me, kill me, do with me as you please...

For that seems to be my sold purpose for existence.

I want to start a new life
With my valuable hunting knife
She will shine like a new girl
And I want to shout out our love to the world Everything I think about I think about
Everything I talk about I talk about
With you
But you don't know what I go through
You don't know

Days, they will turn into nights
But my valuable hunting knife
It will not rust through the tears
And it will not lose its appeal over years (Come on!)
Everything I think about I think about
Everything I talk about I talk about
With you
But you don't know what I go through
You don't know
I'll never know
I'll never know
And then I will run
And then I will. . .
And then I will hide
And then I will. . .
And then I will run
And then I will. . .
And then I will hide
I'll never know
I'll never know

I've heard you sigh
I've heard you moan,
I've heard you say my name...
I've felt your breath,
I've felt your warmth,
I felt all that you felt.
You've touched my heart,
You've touched my mind,
And you have touched my soul...
But baby, darling, I do say
That you have felt me whole.
I'd bite your lips,
I'd kiss your neck,
I'd whisper in your ear...
I'd make you plead,
I'd make you beg,
I'd ask to hear my name..
For you, my dear, drive me insane
You make me say your name.


If I may say so myself,
You are the sweetest thing...
I want to fall asleep with you,
I want to wake up in your arms,
I want to satisfy those wants
And make you happy, babe.


I know when you say my name,
I know when you want me close,
I know your schedule by heart,
For you have touched my life...
I know your sigh,
I know your moan,
I've seen your bark and bite...
Babe, allow me to say,
Your voice is a delight.

The cut on my wrist hurts,
The heart behind my ribs hurts,
The soul inside this body hurts,
Everything just hurts.
Make it stop.
Pull me in your arms and promise I'll be okay.
Kiss my forehead,
Listen to my heartbeat,
Sleep next to me,
And make it okay,
I'm begging.
Give me strength for I am week,
Just be what I need you to be
Because I don't plan to stand by myself,
Not always, not yet.
The cut on my wrist hurts,
The heart behind my ribs hurts,
The soul inside this body hurts,
Everything just hurts.
Make it stop please.

When I went to bed last night, I did not plan on waking up.
When I left for school this morning, I did not think I would return.
When I said 'I'm out of here' I didn't think you'd let me go..
When I called to say 'Hello' I didn't think I'd cry...
When I got upset and sad I thought you'd make it better, and
When I went to bed alone, I wished to sleep forever.
When I went to bed last night, I did not plan on waking up.
When I left for school this morning, I did not think I would return.

I think I realized one thing, maybe as good as ever...
I don't see any light no more, and I can't see your face,
I cannot breathe, I really can't and I don't see a point
I tried my best to be so strong, and I can't believe I failed.
I never felt the way I do, I never felt this way...
I am usually not vulnerable but I was then...

When I went to bed last night, I did not plan on waking up.
When I left for school this morning, I did not think I would return.

Broken Angel

I tore the wings off my back and threw them to the wind,
So for a moment I may be the same as you...
And in my fall from grace, my love I realized
You have another in your arms, love in your eyes...
And when the ground shattered my soul I did not feel a thing,
For then I realized I couldn't win.
And now my wings are back with me
And I have my broken heart,
But I feel better being alone
Knowing you're not.

No More

No more reasonable defeat...
No more tears
No more blood spilled
No more fears.
No more pain
No more nightmares,
No more doubts
No more settling
No more darkness
No more you.

I cut you from my life,
I cut you out and away,
Be gone from my sight and my mind
And please, don't stay.
The worst part of all,
Is that while cutting you away,
I cut myself too deep
That's what I had to pay...
In cutting you out
I cut all of myself..
And now there's nothing left
Of anything in me.


I wonder

I wonder sometimes if this can be true..
If all I have done comes back to you
If all I have said, follows your path,
If waiting here could bring you back.
I wonder now, if I'm right for you
You're right for me, aren't you?
But as the rain falls, and my walls fall too,
As I'm on my knees begging for you
As I bleed my soul, to be in your arms...
I wonder, "Is this our last chance?"


Just Now

Now that I think about it...
It seems to make sense,
How all of your questions
Are easy to answer,
How all of my thoughts
Seem to be true,
How all of my feelings
Return to you,
When most are letting go
We're still going strong
More tension than others,
More stress than can be
But yet, you still stand by me,
Our dreams overbearing
Our touch is like drugs
With no one else caring
About what we've done
Forever and Always I will be at your call,
In life and in death,
You'll be above all.

You are the Beach

You cannot be the reason
The waves come to the shore,
The sweet intoxication
Of many waves before,
The cold breeze hitting gently
The pale face in the sun,
Another innocence,
To blow deadly leafs
In other silly hands
In other shaking knees.
You cannot be the simple
Wind hitting my face...
The comfort and the passion
Without the simple grace
Of being lovely and in love
With nature's endorphins
But yet again I falter
And sand gets in my eyes,
But with the sand that cuts me
I do fall to my knees
And I know you darling,
Now you're a part of me.


Ashen Past

Cold lips on my hips,
How can you touch me like this?
Head between my knees,
Cold self against my skin...
Icy lips on my neck to leave bruise behind,
In another time when you were mine
When nothing else mattered
When I was all yours
When rain was my lover
The moon my disguise
When we ran away,
Slept on the shore line,
And I remember clearly
The look in your eyes
With such warmth inside,
When the love in your smile
Could still hypnotize...
Now when you hold me at night
You hold me like a doll
I won't collapse under pressure
I won't break at all.
Tiny bruises left behind
Seem to kill you inside...
Self hatred leaves you blind
And you fall in line,
Relax, darling,
Now you are mine.


Judging

Judging by how you look at me,
I once was your world, used to be...
Somehow that changed and I fell
Slipped through your hands, broke the spell
Left you all alone in a distant hell.
I'm sorry, my dear.

Judging by the way you hold me,
You once held me close to your heart
You must have watched me breaking apart
For centuries now, all alone
You hold me like a porcelain doll...
I won't break if I fall.

Judging by the bruises you leave,
You're trying to touch me again...
Leaving another mark on my skin,
Don't worry, I understand...
You're trying hard to hold my hand
And let me sleep in your arms.


So Strange

It's so strange to have you here again
Your hand in mine for yet another night,
Your cold body pressed against mine
And I sleep again.
I call your name in my sleep
And you come again...
Fighting another demon...
Breaking another nightmare,
Cut them to pieces, anihilate
All that might harm me,
All that might make me cry
All that might scare me.


My Angel

Another angel has lost his feathers
On his way down from Heaven,
He fell from His grace, fell to the ground
And now he is hoping to never be found.
He tries so hard to piece his heart
To glue everything together
It breaks my heart to see the world
Not try to make it better.

Big Boy I

Now he's a big boy, with big, green eyes,
With rosy lips and a huge smile...
With long, pale arms, and abs of steel
With long legs and a bloody feel,
With a bleeding heart and broken soul,
With a darken past and even more,
He's a big boy, with bigger eyes
With silly jokes and blood shot smiles,
With long, pale fingers, like some snakes
With funny ways, and palest neck...
He's a big boy, of 20 ish,
Give or take some centuries.

Big Boy II

Look at him now, a big, bad man
With awesome moves and awesome hands,
Taller than most, smarter than all
An angel before his fall...
Look at him now, almost a man
He's brilliant and full of charm...
His blood shot eyes are almost hollow,
Where he goes I'm sure to follow.

Big Boy III

Lame poetry to try to describe,
An angel lost in paradise,
His wings blood stained,
His heart too cold,
His soul half broken
His mind too old...
Trying to describe a boy,
Lost in a man's body,
With an old soul,
And indigo mind,
With a promised future
And a bleeding life...
With a beating heart,
And sadness in his blood shot eyes,
With a distorted path
And illusions in his world...
With drugs and booze and fights,
With women that adore..

And I know he's not a boy,
He's now a man and so much more,
But in those eyes there's something else,
Vulnerable and innocent,
Hard, and self explanatory,
Protective and stressed out...
But in that man's deep grass eyes,
I see the boy, he never was.

Running

Running out of ideas

Running out of options…

I’m afraid of you,

I am terrified.

Running through the hallways,

Running through the darkness

And when I stop…

I am afraid again.

Running endless hours

From another distance,

You’re too far away,

And I can’t stop bleeding.

Fighting for a chance,

Fighting for forgiveness,

But as I run away

I leave myself behind.

All my doubts have left,

My questions erased

All my innocence

Watch evaporate.

I will run away

Until I cannot feel

Or whatever I feel

Slowly disappears.

I will guard my soul,

I will put up walls,

And when you break me out

And you chain me down

When it will be okay,

Just love me please

And do not let me

Run away again.



Meaningless

Stupid little poems,

Stupid little thoughts

As I write them now

They really don’t count.

Did they ever, darling,

Make you smile and then

Make you change your mind

And still be my friend?

Did they make you laugh,

Or hold your hand or mine?

Fucking innocence

Leaves people blind.

Bloody lullabies

Bloody love-stained sheets,

As I evaporate,

I promise

To do all I can,

And be what you need.

I promise you, dear

Between tear stained words

To do us both a favor

And I should be gone.



Silence

Overbearing silence, too much left unsaid,

Another bag is empty, another empty bed…

Tears falling faster, please, I need no more,

You say you care, I say I adore.

No plans for salvation, it never comes my way

Sweetest desperation, slowest tragedy.

A never ending cycle, what are we to do,

When you are too confused, and I’m in love with you?

Too much confusion wasted, our time is not yet done…

Let’s make the best of it, or just merge as one.



Gone

Silver blades cut through skin,

Forgive this bloody sin of mine,

My world is torn to pieces,

My soul is all in shreds

I cannot take away

The pain my heart still dreads.

I pray for cold destruction,

My life has gone to hell

I cannot help myself,

I cannot even tell!

Forgive me, dearest, please

You mean too much to me,

Romeo and Juliet had their tragedy.

Allow me for a moment

To fall prey to despair…

To say all that I feel

My words seem to fail.

I’m gone forever, darling,

I’m gone from your embrace…

Don’t be careless darling,

Remain forever safe.

Dear World

To all the hearts you've broken,
To all the hearts you'll break,
To all the words unspoken,
To all the empty beds...
To all the deathly people,
To all the shattered bones,
To all the widowed women,
To all the widowed men...
To all the fucked up reasons
To all the souls you'll mend
To all the words you mean
To all the words you meant,
To all the lonely people,
To all the lonely souls,
When they just stop believing
And you were not enough,
Just please always remember:
"Dear world, just go fuck off."

Maybe

Maybe it’s the simple way
Your dreams fit in my dreams,
The way I cannot sleep one bit
If you’re not home asleep…

Maybe it’s the way you smile,
The way it stops my breath…
The way I cannot look away,
The begging of my neck.

Maybe it’s the velvet voice
That wraps me warm and snug,
That always whispers in my ears
The words I should have known.

Maybe it’s the satin touch,
The way it cradles me,
The strength I pull from the embrace
Is like a fairytale.

Maybe it’s the life that’s lead
Through darkness and through light…
The way it always seems to work
And always feels so right.

Maybe it’s the music playing,
The opening horizons,
The endless possibility
To make it happen.

Maybe it’s the way the world lights up
With ever smile and happy moment,
The way you make me happier than ever…
Or how you want me as your wife.

Indifferent of the reasons said,
Indifferent of circumstance,
Indifferent of anything else…
Love will always remain unchanged.

Hero

Never needed a hero, I can do it on my own

I’m a big girl now, I can deal my own cards.

All in, another relationship to add to the whiteboard,

I’m winning this game, wait, what am I winning?

Did I carelessly put everything on the line?

Guess I did, oh well, raise the bet!



Give me the hammer, nails and some lumber,

I can build this on my own, I’ve done it before.

One piece here, and hammer it in

Watch your fingers, we need them all

To piece together this puzzle,

I have you figured out.



Give me the riffle, I have my ammunition,

Stand back, let me teach you a thing or two.

Let me empty a few rounds in this empty wall,

Create our own art, give me the knife, paint it all

Slit my wrist paint it red,

Or paint it black with your own misery, our home baby.



Hand over the knife, apron looks better on me,

Sit at the table, you just got home,

Pour yourself some wine, light a cigarette

Dinner’s almost on the table.

I can do it all for you, I was raised well,

Your best interest at heart.



Come into the bedroom, drop your pants at the door,

Come in my territory, you’ve missed a lot,

The uniform looks good on you, now take it off,

We’ll dress you back before you have to head back

Now you’re mine, sit down…

Your moment is now.



Never needed a hero, can do it on my own,

It’s easier to do it in two hand in hand.

Just as strong as you, I can pull my own weight,

But I’m still craving for less selfishness on your part.

A lot on each end, we pull too much,

You’re making my fingers bleed too tired to hold on.



Move over, let the game end.

The rounds I shot have found homes in my own chest,

The house we built, I dug my own grave

The sheets were to break my fall.

Ask for me back, be the guide, be the guard, be my all…

Be the hero I was promised at birth.

Spotted Angel

Spotted wings for pale angels,

Covered in darkness and wrapped up in smoke

Eyes hypnotizing fragile hearts,

Breaking them is an art

Reserved for the few brave ones

For the strong ones,

For the dark ones,

For the ones.



Foggy covers wrapping silky hearts,

Early phone calls and late night owls

Bloody vampires lost in the night

Hiding from the sunrise

Heaven was promised

To the strong ones

To the dark ones

To the ones.

Its not like the love I felt before.
It's like butterflies in my chest, not my stomach.
Like the summer night breeze caressing my face...
It's like moonlight in my veins.
I can't stop giggling, and my eyes sparkle again.
They start to get warmer, and lighter, and
I'm singing and dancing...
I can't sleep or eat or think...
My mind is so full of everything and nothing;
I cannot put 2 sentences together to form a coherent thought....
It's a longing to touch him and know he's happy too... it's more than that actually.
It's not even being with him as much as to know how he is,
Such a longing to talk to him and know him.
Learn him inside out and know what makes him tick.
Know his future and his past, and be his present...
I want Okinawa, and I want the Cali sun if it means he can be there too...
He's so far away and
I feel protected and safe, yet at the same time I feel like I’m in space.
I can't feel the ground, and I skip and I dance and I run.
I see the moon much clearer now.
Poetry cannot do it justice ...
I don’t know what to do with myself.
This thing isn’t me... it's not who I am or what I am..

....and I am so afraid of it.

But I am ready to conquer it.

Keep You Safe

I don't remember birthdays,
And I don't remember dates...
Anniversaries are a nightmare
I try so hard to forget...
If I do remember something,
And if I wish to celebrate,
I will spend all hard earned cash,
To buy a present you can't make.
I'm mean and I am such a jerk...
But I have the best intentions,
I am fierce and overprotective,
And I am a selfish bitch...
I have attitude problems,
but if I am to confess....
I'll do everything I can
to keep you safe.

Angel's Suicide

Poetry's irrelevant, why am I typing?
It doesn't matter, it never matters, back to the routine.
Mind closed off to others, heart locked away,
Does being invincible equal it out?
Doubt it. One way to find out.
I'm starting to think I should have died a while ago
It doesn't matter anymore, nothing lasts.

Angels got shot down, their wings bleeding in front of me,
And I crave the sweet sins...
They cry and beg for more than this death,
Even the criminals have humane executions,
Aren't they just that?

I used to think my angel stood beside me,
Watched everything, came to guide me,
It just hit me now, like a brick from the wall...
He took his own life, we took it too far.

Another light has gone out, no need for cheers,
Not proud of what I've done not proud of anyone...
Always a quitter, from day one I began,
Another lullaby another era of self harm
And it never mattered, wished for something more,
Fighting for forgiveness, I've done that before.

Redemption, and a lack of direction have friction
It never mattered, find another reason
To live, I have forgotten, the world and promises given,
Give, give, and take, I gave all I had,
I'm left standing here empty and alone.
It doesn't matter, don't think it ever did,
Something forgiven, take what you need and leave..
It's an endless song and book of poetry,
Before I make you cry, just hurt me.

He couldn't stand it, we pushed it too far,
Lack of direction, redemption, that was his plan,
To push me along, and allow me to find myself,
Now I'm stuck here, forgetting the light
It's all too bright and it hurts my eyes,
In the distance the sole, bloody cry
Of an infant punctures the sky
And I sing again a blood lullaby.

And I pity you, I promise I do,
You pity me and I hurt you.
It's a cycle that doesn't break, it never should...
I am a selfish creature, hoped you knew,
I'll want my freedom and I'll want yours too...
Be mine forever and appreciate the truth,
From hell's abyss I've been watching you
An angel's kiss can be poison but who
Cares? It doesn't matter, never did
Come closer, mortal I have what you need...
Wrap my wings around you, you're safe now..
Surrender your soul, your heart, your compassion...
Come back from hell
To watch the suicide of an angel.

Broken Wings

Back to myself, let the blood pour,
Wash away the tears and the misery...
No problem, doesn't matter, we'll live again,
Have you missed me? I didn't think so.

Too late to say I love you, too late to hold you tight,
Like a vampire you bit into my neck,
Tore my jugular and let me bleed,
And I did. It's okay.

Fragile like porcelain, no, not me... they're lying to you.
Who me? I'm another species, tougher than rubber.
Violent like drunken wolves, come bite into me,
Blood spilling on the white , it's ok...

No one reads poetry anymore,
What's the point in it it's words on cardboard
And porcelain Angels cast demon shadows,
Never mattered, don't be afraid.

With silk voices they lure you in,
Sit in your lap, get your spirits up...
But like a vampire, your blood will pour,
For their appetites. It's fine.

Silver blades cut tick marks, counting...
One hundred seventy four for the past,
That's just the memories made too fast,
But it's okay, doesn't hurt.

Bleeding hearts pour misery
Over white notebooks, sweet price to pay.
Poetry forgotten, what words?
I hang it in the closet.

Like wolves they tear at porcelain necks,
Forgotten, not alone... but might as well be,
Through porcelain masks,
No one sees a thing.

Happiness is a word in a dictionary,
Without you there's nothing to believe
Like an anchor you hold me in the sand,
Keeping me from flying away.

Like a sledgehammer words hit my face,
Slap after slap, no embrace, to no end they keep hitting,
And I tore my wings out feather by feather
In hope to find something that writes better.

Now I found myself in the black of night,
Few windows and open doors to find,
Missing the flight, missing the wishful thinking...
I'll be better by tomorrow, or so I'm hoping.

They never grew back, though your words I held true,
"Only let them treat you like I treat you"
And I held it true, but I cannot believe...
I listened to the words of the wind.

May I send you a hurricane to blow you away,
Ask for a Sagittarius to send you some flames,
Maybe the Pieces will wash you away
Because Taurus is over letting you stay.

Each element represented, cast a circle,
Call them together and kneel for forgiveness,
Strayed from the path, maybe that's what she meant
When she called me God's blackest angel.

Forgive me again, your highness,
I forgot you're losing track of this poem,
It's the first I have written in what seems like forever
and my fingers are bleeding allover my keyboard.

I suppose you want explanations?
BiPolar disorder I suppose, I don't know...
I wanna be free but I can't let you go
But you're flying for new destinations.

Too much to keep hidden, to little to write,
And they built up forever and ever and now
The words stare at me from the page,
God help me, I'm loosing myself.

With broken wings I sit on the ledge,
My feet dangling delicately into the air...
Sweet suicide isn't an option anymore,
Where the hell is this coming from?!

Scared of my thoughts, unleashing my demons
Parchment paper so they will stay all alone
I'm hurting the people that I held so close..
I'm running out of words to chose.

Point is, broken but never alone,
I have the place I need to call home,
Just wish for a cure, don't wanna hurt anymore,
I don't want to hurt the people I love.

I'm Here

"Come lay by my side

As I hold you tight through the night,

Whispering every so often and oh so gently in your ear

That I'm still here."

Rest your head upon my chest

Trust me, dear, I know what's best,

And in my arms please, be at ease,
Dearest, I'm here.

Your heartbeat will quickly match mine,

Your scent still lingers through my air...

Dream sweet dreams, I'm oh so near...

Sweetheart, I'm here.

Close your eyes, quiet your mind,

I'll stay yours, for you are mine.

Trust me, there's nothing to fear,

Baby, I'm here.

If you wake throughout the night,

I promise there's nothing to fight.

My face buried in your hair,

Darling, I'm here.

I'll fight your demons, fight your fears,

Erase nightmares, wipe your tears,

Whisper softly in your ear

Love, I am here.

And if you wake, and I am gone...

Know it will not be for long.

Just fall asleep back in my bed

And when you wake, you sleepy head,

I'll be right here.

I see

I see you as you are,

So kind, so sweet so fake...

I see you as you wish to be,

Dear, it's not discrete.

I see how they see you too,

So innocent and pure...

I see what they fail to see,

I see the devil's lure.

I see the wish within your eyes

The innocent distractions...

I see the truth within your lies,

The fight within your soul...

I see the future and the past,

I know you inside out

For I am all you need to know,

All you'll need for now.

Fallen Angels

From grace the fallen angel crashed,

From gods above, he fell...

His wings are bruised, his wings are cut...

And he bled profusely.

I felt so bad watching him fall...

I felt his pain as mine,

For when the fallen angel cries,

The clouds help blacken the skies,

The rain is cold, the sun is gone...

The blood rains down upon the land,

The demons smile, the humans can't,
Poor angel, I do feel for him.

Heaven

Singing lullabies for you, my exit strategy,

I fell too fast, too deep, too low in this sincerity...

With wings of marble, abs of stone, you fell from grace for me

No questions asked, no answer told, for this atrocity.
And now, wings bruised you lay with me,

You hold me to your chest and whisper

"I did it and I can't regret it.

You are my piece of Heaven."

I like

I like the way you smile,

The way you hold me tight,

The whispering that says

I might be all right.

I love the way you smell,

The way you lay in bed,

The way your voice creeps in

And fills my busy head.

I like the way you kiss,

The way you burn my lips...

The tongue inside your mouth

Administering bliss.

I love the way you touch,

The feel upon my skin,

The way I feel 'bout you

Can only be called sin.

I like the way I feel

When you are somewhere near...

A better person now

Than I've ever been.

I love the way we are

Wrapped around each other...

Both weaker apart

Than we are together.

Blasphemy

My favorite sport these days is Blasphemy.

The kind that sets your skin on fire,

The kind that makes you hot inside,

The kind that makes your toes curl up,
The kind that steals your innocence.

Insanity

This is blasphemy in the fourth degree

Between you and me, it's insanity.

And I wish you'd see this atrocity

So you can clearly free this monstrosity

And so that we can flee this idiocy

And clearly foresee this intimacy

Between you and me.

Angel Lullabies

Angels singing lullabies for little girls to sleep,

The girls grow up, the angels leave,
Who wants my soul to keep?

Angels watching girls grow up,

Now there are curves that weren't there,

And in their innocence they pray

They'll survive it.

Kisser

You're an exquisite kisser,
I wish I could explain

The heat of your lips

The taste of your kiss

You're brilliant.

Piece of Heaven

A little piece of Heaven falling on my bed

As if to express gratitude for my efforts.

Brilliantly sculpted soldiers

To fulfill one's wildest fantasies

As if carved from marble or heated stone,

With much stronger arms...

How does it Feel?

I needed my best friend tonight,

Needed that reason to stay alive

You haven't given me one yet.

I needed the angel to take my knife,

Needed my friends to wipe my tears

But there's no one here tonight

No one here through the years.

How does it feel to know you could have save my life?

How, how does it feel?

I wish

I wish I could a be a cookie cutter version of you,

Always happy, always kicking dust in others' eyes.

I wish these scars on my arms disappeared

And I erased every last little trace of you.

I can see you in my dreams and I can smell you in my sleep

And it doesn't fit with this new version of me.

I wish I couldn't taste your lips

When I wake from a dream in which you were in

And I wish I stopped thinking

About what could have been.

I wish the scars on your back healed up,

And the bite marks in your neck disappeared...
I wish you never knew the scent of my perfume

And I wish you didn't remember my address book

Because you're just a heartbreaker, and I knew from day one

You'd destroy me and all I have done,

For I understood you, and I knew your plan,

I fell like a sucker inside this dreamland...

Its time to wake up, little sucker,

Time to grow up...

I wish I was perfect, I wish I had been at your side,

But despite my not being good enough for you,

There's someone else to wipe my tears,

Someone else to sleep in my bed...

What do you have next to you?
Empty Space.

From your grave to my own,

From my grave to yours...

From your heart into mine,

From my heart through that bond...

I stepped on tails and pissed them off,

I challenged them then fought them off,

I turned them on, I got them off,

Not Enough

I'm sorry I ruined your life. I truly, really am.

I'm sorry my heart has a bond to your heart

And you and I carry the knot of the dead man.

I wish it was different, you know...

I wish I had left when I could,

For darling, I meant you the best,

Dearest, I did what I could.

I'm sorry I wasn't enough...

I'm sorry I was never your ten,

And I wish I could fix all that you miss,
I wish I could make you feel safe.

I don't know

I don't know what happened. I think that as the blood snaked down my arms something changed in the structure of my very soul. Nothing felt the same after that. Mainly because nothing ever was. I mean, somehow I got through the night and as my eyes opened the next day, he was there. He was there... and he was furious. I guess the look on his face tipped me off to it, but the way he barked at me afterwards left a foul taste in my mouth.

Now I couldn't tell you what he had said to me. Mainly because I was so shocked at his presence that they went through one ear and left through the other. He was beautiful. He really was. His eyes were as silver as the moon and his hair was as black as the night itself. His lips looked as if contoured with a deeper shade of pink and he looked as if carved out of the whitest marble found on the planet.

For as long as I can remember, he's worn that cross around his neck. Simple as it was, but always there on its thin white gold chain. He tried putting it around my neck once, just once, and I looked at him unblinking for several moments. He soon abandoned the thought and replaced it at the base of his neck.

When I first saw him, I thought I was dead. I mean, I should have been. I was sure the blood had soaked through my mattress and through the bunny I held so tightly close to my heart. I guess I was wrong because the bunny was clean, and the cuts on my arms seemed as if the veins were traced with white chalk.

The scars aren't there anymore. They should be... but they aren't. I don't know why, they just disappeared. He, however, is still with me. A ghost of the past trying to make sure I have a future. Odd, eh? I don't know what happened... sometimes... I'm glad I don't.

For you II

For you, I would search the world.

I would rip it apart centimeter by bloody centimeter

And I would have no second guess ,

For I would always find you.

All sides of the same dice have one thing in common,

The hierarchy among them is not only infallible

But also extremely important to the players of the game.

You see... I have resources. Plenty.

At my fingertips lay thousands of people.

Thousands of soldiers.

Thousands of helpers.

I would find you anywhere.

You know there's a problem when God's right hand man doesn't care about falling. When he'd rather sit with a mortal than fight for the good... She's nothing special. To the contrary, she's completely unfitting for one such as him, BUT here he sits, on the couch again.

His good intentions are very plain to see: Her being alive seems to be a priority. For now at least. He wastes his time...

He tries so hard to spend eternity
So pure

So innocent

So lost.

I get.

Such a low intensity and no room for error

Calculate you every move, should have come sooner...

You're mine. I'm yours, although I think

I have the better bargain here.

I get the sunshine

I get the storm I want.

I get the better,
I get the best.

You get the dark

You get the blood...

You get the sad.
But in the end, I fear you may get my heart.

He Visits Me

I wonder. I really do...
How has an angel been assigned to one like me?

I have no interest in the divine at hand,

Nor do I care about the 'bigger picture'...

I'm lost and I'm confused... I truly am...

How can I be given such a treat?

He's handsome... he's tall... he's strong...

God's right hand man

And in his spare time...

He visits me.

One Night

Between sun rays and essential interest,

The could will carry you until the dawn has past.

You fall from grace at such a pace

And my question is, do you have any regrets?

Once the prince of angels, now you are no more..

A simple human being with nothing more than her

And at your feet, the grace falls shattering...

Splinters of your radiance slitting through your wrists.

I don't believe in angels, for I don't believe in God...

The simple human refuge, for me lies in blood,

A blood so sweet from you, my aphrodisiac,

Is all but just my poison, it is my ecstasy.

The sunrise comes too quickly,
With the night you must depart...

Your master, dearest angel,

Again, beacons you back.

You screwed it up... why should I take the blame?

You broke it... why should I fix it for you?

You hurt it... why would I heal it now?

You killed it... you fix it.

Time

There's no feeling anymore...

Time's still and says no word to anyone

But in its path he sprinkles broken hearts

And fights, oh so hard, to remain intact.

You'd think he cares about the ones he leaves behind...

But truth be told, he doesn't really care.

He fought so hard to do his job

And in his tired path

He left behind my hopes for you and I.

He left behind my broken heart...

He sprinkled pieces of broken lullabies.