Ultimate War

A different kind of army fighting

The good and bad are struggling,

The generals are standing still again
And their wings are now exposed,

They're ready to fight.

And bloody rivers overflow

The ground is now a sponge,

The leaders of the angel's army

Are now looking worried.

The good is not so good right now,

The bad is not so evil...

Each fighting for a home land,

Each fighting for a chance

There's nothing left around them,

Th'innocence surrounding is but an attack

The struggle is beginning,

The war will come to pass.

This war that has no traitors

Will soon be done.

Only You

The wings on my back are stained with blood,

The energy around is black,

No patience within my veins...

I fight although it's all the same

And yet, I'd do it all again.

The look in my eyes is merciless

The scars upon my neck, so priceless.

The faint heartbeat infects

The poison within me spreads...

It's not all in my head

Only you.

Sometimes

Sometimes it worries me that I don't have a say,

That no matter what, you win...

That when we fight, we cry

That we win no matter what

Because we have each other.

To Me

Where there's weakness there is strength,

There is loss and there is gain,

With impatience you claim

To have patience in your veins.

And inside you still cry

You lay in bed and want to die,

Where there's evil there is good

Now come to me, I said you should.

To You

I have written poems, hundreds,

To the beauty of this smile...

To the good within those eyes.

To the magic of the cries.

I have written poems, plenty,

To the love within those veins,

To the wind and to the rain,

To you.

I don't mind

The night's breeze wrapping gently around me

And I close my eyes to see you standing here,

For you I fight, for you I beg forgiveness...

For you, my dear, I'd doom the world to shreds.

The moon's bright light is shining through my window

And in it's grace, I sit and pray for you,

I begged the innocence of moonlight fantasies

To make it better, make it worth the fight.

Tonight the sky is cloudy and the moon's away,

The wind is forceful and cuts the calm away.

I sit atop the stairs and look into the dark

Forgetting and forgiving the worry in my heart.

I don't mind the 'playing', the good, or the bad,

I don't care for fighting unless it's worth my time...

I'm not going. Ever. I'll be here just for you,

But I need you to tell me, exactly what you do.

I want to wrap my arms around that chest of yours,

Press into your hug and listen to your heart

For in your arms, my darling, time stops in its tracks,

And you're the only one that's worth the fight.

So come to me, my dearest, and wrap around my heart

You're worth my worrying, as are you worth my life.

Come to me darling, give me it all tonight,

Wrap your arms around me, it's gonna be all right.

Dearest

You've never been my responsibility,

You're so much older than I am, my dear

But now I put you right in danger's way.

Forgive me, darling , I cannot look at you

So beat up, cut up, bruised up as you are...

You're bleeding baby, you can't even stand,

So lay next to me, and sleep at my side

I'll heal you darling, you'll be good in no time.

Don't Fret

White walls and white marbles,

There are bars on the windows,

The doors look so strange.

You lie on the floor, the fetal position

And in my arms, you lie like a child.

The ground is so cold,

These clothes are too thin...

The monster within wants to cry,

There's nothing to fight

You're safe and alive,

I got you tonight

Don't you fret.

Dark skies and black clouds cover us,

There are demons outside

And they all look so strange.

We sit on the bed, you're wrapped in my arms,

I know you're afraid, but you're in my lap/

The bed is too warm,

These clothes are so thin...

The monster within wants to protect you.

Nothing's around

You're safe and alive,

I'll be with you tonight,

So don't fret.

In the Dark

She sits through the ashes of broken memories,

Playful and innocent fantasies have been lost...

No longer the same as she was, and she thought

Salvation had wonderful eyes and red lips.

She slits through the paler wrists of innocence,

Ripping apart the muscle of the patience,

The strength is falling apart and she collapses,

The pressure's too much the blood is too hot,

And the darkness, the dark is too dark.

There's no light anymore, and it's so cold,

She feels inadequate to run and hide.

She cuts through the fear of being alone,

Running too fast and running too slow...

The blood on the walls keeps flowing south,

The wind and the earth can't hold it down.

And everything burns, she falls apart,

There's no comfort alone in the dark.

Fighting

"Sometimes we fight for all the wrong reasons. We fight because we're scared, or because we're worried. We fight just to pass the time and lose track of all we do, all we have. All we lost while we fought, all we will lose, all that is meaningless while we're fighting. "

- Laura Sparkle

Forever

I could have looked at you forever,
And in thy arms I would have made my home...
For you, my love, are nothing but an angel
And in your presence, I am not alone.
Your sweet intoxication makes me smile
And your heartbeat, dearest, matches mine,
You and I have met, have liked, have loved,
With you I'm safe.


Vampire

They say only a vampire can love forever,
In its arms forever you'll be safe...
That word means nothing to me dearest,
Forever will end eventually.
I make no promise of eternity,
I promise not to be your faithful pet,
I will not promise you an ending
But I will promise you my heart right now.
They say only a vampire can love forever,
In its heart, forever you shall stay...
I make no promises of disappointing words,
But I will promise, I will do my best.

Breaking Dawn Excerpt (II)

"I am neither good, nor bad, neither angel nor devil, I am a man, I am a vampire."
-Michael Romkey (I, Vampire)


She stood with her back against the wall and faced me. A creature of beauty was looking at me as if I was the best thing since sliced bread.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," she began, "I mean we were all supposed to coexist, you know? But I guess the world wasn't ready to know us. To see us in grocery stores, to send their kids to school with us. They just weren't ready to accept anything. It's all... wrong."

I pulled her in my arms and pressed her to my chest.

"Can you blame them? After all the books that altered their thoughts and after all the movies that misguided them... can you blame them for thinking we're not just as human?" I kissed her forehead.

Breaking Dawn Excerpt

Somehow they had learned my pathetic story and as they all understood from it what they could, the look in their eyes went through so many motions. Love, pain, fear, and sadly worry had made their imprints on their faces. It was heartbreaking to see Chloe's eyes dim a little, her smile disappear and her head burry itself if Aidan's chest. Aidan's arms naturally wrapped around the weeping girl and he held her so close into him that I was afraid she might melt into the very essence of his soul.
"All I could do is kneel by her side and pull her limp body to my chest." I finished feeling tears forming in my eyes as they all left.

Out of the blue, she stood and pushed her chair into the wall. The noise from this sudden movement triggered a protective side in Aidan, who now squeezed the child even tighter than before, as if Lilith's anger could reach around his shield and pierce us all. She came towards me with the tact of a panther, her eyes glistening in the light with such a predatorial glare that froze my blood within my veins.
The blanket on her shoulders hit the ground as her hand found my neck and pressed me into the brick wall behind me. She sneered and growled and as her face came within inches of my own, her voice broke through the silence.
"You idiot! You fake!" She screamed. "Don't sit there and lie to us about feeling sorry. Look me in the eyes and tell me your body didn't fucking convulse at the sight of her blood. Tell me that your body wasn't whimpering for it!"
All I could do was look at her, the anger within me surfacing finally.
"You pathetic piece of dirt. You know you wanted more than anything to dig your face in her wounds and have one last taste of her. One last drop of sweet, incredible blood before it was all over. Don't sit here and make them all feel sorry for you. DON'T feel sorry for yourself. You're a predator. The being that goes 'bump' in the night. The hunter of the hunters! Yet you see yourself as a damned angel. As a fallen from grace creature. No. Look at yourself! You're pathetic! You have no pride to be what you are. No will to fight for what you believe in. You're a waste of space and energy, and better yet, a waste of my time." she let go of my throat and knelt next to me after I slid down the wall and onto the cold ground.
"I'm sorry." she calmly said after a few moments.
"Don't be. You're right."
"I don't like people who feel sorry for themselves. It makes them weak. You cannot fight for something and someone else unless you fight for yourself first. You are what you are and ought to very well accept it before it eats you alive, before it consumes you, before..." she paused and glanced at me for a long moment "... before you get yourself taken away from me. Love makes us weak. Only our predatorial instincts keep us safe. We fight for ourselves and then fight for each other. Uderstand?"
"Love makes us weak?" I asked her. "Then you truly have never been in love. So close to someone it hurts. So close it feels so good. Have you? If love makes us weak, I'd rather be it than a cold creature. You have that role covered." I spit back in her face.
Then. Then she kissed me.

I would for you

I'd rip apart the Heaven's eastern skies

And tear Hell's gates to shreds looking for you,

I'd cut open the gods with rusty knives

And dig between their organs just for you.

I'd fight the angel legions, I'd fight the hell's best guys

I'd fight them all and win only for you.

I'd do all in my power to bring you to my heart

For all it does is beat for you.

Not me

Poetry scribbled constantly to clear a cloudy mind,

Thoughts suspended moments in time...

And within the moments, the fear does consume

But have no fear baby, it's not me, it's you.

For Me

Anger spewing forth acidity,
I could have done such stupid things...
I could have compromised us all,
I could have given up the world...
I could and can, but won't.
There's blood within my veins
That should belong to someone else,
But spilling it on the wall would be such a waste...
This poetry's not right
I'm putting up a fight,
My wings are turning red
My heartbeat's slowing down
And in the darkest day
I remember who I am.
I remember to not call your name.
I remember to fight for me.

Broken Hearted Doll

Broken hearted dolls
With broken hearts
With crimson dresses,
With pearly smiles.
This broken hearted doll
Has been passed around,
No real owner to keep
No real owenr to love...
This broken hearted doll
Has fallen to her knees,
Has fallen off the cliffs
And you should know...
This broken hearted doll
Is now yours.

IT

It's pointless to fight it,

To try and hide it,

Just try to like it,

It's yours.

Try to subside it,

There's nothing like it,

Something to light it,

Time to unite it,

It's yours.

Flatline

I suppose I can't fight for you anymore,
Because you're dragging the world down under,
because you're made of porcelain and so fragile...
Because for years you've disappeared.
A day or two have gone, my funeral is over,
And in the moment is melody you start to 'fight again'...
I hope you'll fight for all I have fought for...
Make my struggle worth it, dearest child...
But no... of course not baby,
You have flatlined tonight.

Now

Exhaustion seeps through the bone,
The marrow is soaked, compromised...
The purity within no longer necessary,
The actions are forever in her soul.
And through the night, the rain remains
So cold, so distant and so dark.
The lover's words no longer dis-concerning,
No one calmed her down, not yet...
No one can say a word to her today
The secret world she lives in is so far,
The secret life she lives in secrecy.
Her journal is tainted with her tears
She's been deprived of sleep for years,
But one thing she falls back on now
Is knowing that tomorrow's gone
And from her grasp her worries fall,
As she enjoys the fight, the brawl
For when the sun sets every day...
She's still forgotten...
Eventually.

Secret Life

It's like a horrible, horrible struggle,
To fall through the cracks of 'reality',
To see that their truth is lies...
And nothing you have learned holds any weight.
It's a horrible, horible circumstances,
To deliberately block all their lessons,
To turn a deaf ear to their cries,
For they wouldn't understand anyway.
It's a horrible, horrible feeling,
To look at your loved ones and know,
To see through them into the soul
And know they will never survive.

Sot hen you hide your secret life
And hope nothing will spoil the feeling.

Windy

The sweet intoxication to fill your lungs,
The smoke inside your head is gone...
Should I say I fight the winds,
Or that I've given up?

Mistake

I feel so small tonight, looking at the sky,

Fighting back wishes and desires to cry...

I keep to myself the battle within

For it doesn't do any good to discuss this.

I feel so tiny looking around me,

My wings shriveled around and wrapped tight...

I can feel them change, I can feel them break

And I can't understand anything.

My mind is a blank slate,

Nothing makes sense...

I fight and I break

This life: my mistake.

Glass of Wine

The sky shattered again today,

As if my fist had gone through that window...

Two inches thick to try and slit

Through both my wrists today.

The moon has disappeared from the sky today,

The clouds are setting in, I can smell the storm,

The nothingness within has come again

And darkness, darkness' taking over.

The wings behind me are no longer pale,

The night has covered me and they have turned to gray,

The tar within the breaths I would inhale

Would make my mind loose all control.

I fought for you down to the last breath,

The throat is slit and blood is dripping through

As if the Nial has triggered my denial

This is not happening. This cannot be true.

The night is darker now, and I feel smaller

I feel no joy, and the pain has numbed me through,

It makes no sense, there's no life after you...

There has to be, gotta pull through

I suppose... the sun will still rise,

And then it shall set again...

I keep waiting for the night to shut down...

Drown you out in a glass of wine...

4/21/2010

Simplicity

Sunset, sunrise

I see the lies

Without disguise,

or so I realize.

You laugh, I cry

You say goodbye...

I fight, you try

Now it's my time to lie.

Stalker

Your eyes forever imprinted,

My heartbeat increases,

You see through my walls

And tear them down.

Confidently stated,

'Might as well forget it'

You are right, I hate it...

But baby, you are mine.

Poetry

Written word is special

To convey the message

Stupid rhyming happens

Indifferent of lessons.

Haikus and Sonnets,

Another one?

I'm on it.

Last Letter

Too many poems written for you,

Too many trees have died...

I wrote you many letters darling,

And I have sent you none.

I threw away so many pens,love

I have not kept one...

The ink within too many pens

Is currently gone.

I wrote you books, my darling boy,

And vented, cried, and begged...

I could have begged for mercy, dear,

And from you, I got none.

I'm sorry darling, I let go...

And now, I say so long.

Another

Too many people read these poems,

So many know my thoughts.

Are you afraid, sweetheart?

Are my words too hard?

I told you baby, you're my world,

And through it you have gone...

The poetry inside my veins

Is poison to mine eyes.

You are the better part of life,

You are the sunset and sunrise,

You are the music in my veins,

The Ink within my heart.

And I will love you always, darling,

Forever see your face

Your named tattooed upon my soul

Will never bring disgrace.

But now my love it's time to say...

I found another one.

Hehe

I'm silly.

Come Home

He was out again tonight. Who knew what her name was this time? She sure as hell didn't. She didn't want to know her name, or where she was from, or what she looked like. She didn't want to know about the random girl he was going to have fun with tonight. All she cared about was when the debauchery would be over and he would safely return to the safety of their bedroom, of their sheets and her arms.

It was the last thing she could take. She hated nothing like she hated being made to feel like an idiot. She ran her hands through her long hair and squeezed her eyes shut. The the streams running down her cheeks were soon joined by another one, trickling down the side of her face and onto her lips. The smell of the iron made her open her eyes and realize she had reopened a cut that had barely closed. She put her cellphone down and sat on the black, leather couch. She pulled her knees to her chest ignoring the water that was now sliding down her rosy cheeks. The wet drops caressed her lips and fell down into the cleavage of her shirt. The room suddenly seemed colder, the candle light seemed dimmer, the music seemed off tune, the night seemed larger and she... well... she seemed alone.

"Damn it!" she muttered as she smashed her hand into the innocent glass from the coffee table and sent it spinning into the wall.

"I miss you" said the text message she received. His number was memorized by now, the name was carved in her brain so deeply that she turned when someone called his name.

"I miss you too." she replied. "Come home."

The Fears I Have

The fears I have are about sand,

The sand the drips through the hourglass’ hand…

I’m terrified of no-man’s land,

And losing all I have to Death’s cold hand.

The fears I have are about the cold,

The cold inside my loved one’s soul,

I fear the dark he cannot fight

I fear his fear of paler lights.

I fear the hope he cannot find…

I fear the Reaper’s glistening eye,

I fear ‘hello’, I fear ‘goodbye’

I fear his truth and fear his lie,

I fear he’ll live and beg to die.