Hate it how

I hate how you make me want to be a better person.

I hate how you make me want to be stronger.

I hate how you make me want to try harder.

I hate how you make me want to learn more.

I hate how you make me want to put it all on the line.

I hate how you make me want to scream.

I hate how you make me want to run away.

I hate how you make me want to stay.

I hate how you make me want to cry.

I hate how you make me want to laugh.

I hate how you make me want to be vulnerable.

I hate it how you make me want to hide sleep in your arms.

I hate it how you make me want to open up.

I hate how you assume I am yours.

I hate how you think you have me.

I hate how you believe you'll undress me.

I hate how you don't take me for granted.

I hate how you want to make it okay.

I hate how I can't sleep without your "Goodnight".

I hate how I know you.

I hate how I crave you.

I hate how I want you.

I hate how I miss you.

I hate how I want to see you.

I hate how I want to rely on you.

I hate how I want to hide in your arms.

I hate how I feel safe with you.

I hate how I am honest with you.

I hate how I don't hide anymore.

I hate how I don't know you at all.

I hate how I want to let you around me.

I hate how I wish you would make it okay.

I hate how I wish you could erase them.

I hate how I want you to take the nightmares.

I hate how I'm helpless.

I hate how I'm hopeless

I hate how I'm careless.

I hate how I'm restless.

I hate how I'm wordless.

I hate how I'm witless.

I hate how I'm weightless.

I hate how I'm spineless.

I hate how I'm sleepless.

I hate how I'm ruthless.

I hate how I'm shameless.

I hate how I'm worthless.

I hate how I'm soulless.

I hate how I'm senseless.

I hate how you make me want to be yours.

I hate how this isn't even your fault.

“I am a vampire. I love what I am and I hate what I am. I wish to learn more about my nature, and I wish to cease all knowledge about everything and anything connected to the subject. I am a strong predator and a weak dependant all at the same time, and every day and moment varies. My self control has grown and shattered, has made me sane and brought insecurities, has made me doubt everything and accept everything, and has provided me with insight into myself. I have cared for others and I have hated others not for what they were, but for what I was not. I have fought myself and defended myself. Cursed myself and thanked myself. Ultimately, I have accepted myself and strengthened myself.

“Awakening is hard enough without the skepticism of the world surrounding you, and without the doubts that have infiltrated your mind thanks to the people around you. Knowing what you are takes so much time, so much learning, and so much control, that many people back away from it and suppress themselves with all their might, thus weakening their minds and breaking their wills. Some have no energy to defend themselves in front of themselves, and give off a very vulnerable vibe. How can one live without wishing to do so? How can one advance and surpass everything? How can one strive to better oneself if he sees nothing worth bettering himself for? What reason is there to try to be better if one does not allot himself the option to fail?

“We all have the ability to think, love, cry, and fight. We can all learn to accept who we are and increase our strength as well as our ability to help, destroy, nurture, or capture the essence of what in turn is life. Whether we feed off blood, or energy, or both, is a mere detail that best be forgotten sometimes. No one branch is better than the other, and the ones who believe so are mere fools. Neither one of the sides wants the complete annihilation of the other, despite of what some members of the sides seem to advocate. The views of some of the pieces may not necessarily reflect the views of the whole system, now do they? Sure we work differently. Don’t we all? Does a meat lover think a vegetarian is out of his mind? Some people do. But in return some vegetarians find the practice of eating meat as insane as any other strange idea. They all function differently, but at the end of the day, do they not all ingest food to help them live? Are they not as human as the other individual? Are they not as susceptible to disease? Vulnerable to natural disasters? Are they not both still human?

“Fact of the matter is, we’re all different, we’re all unique, and we’re all human. We are superior and inferior at the same time, and no one should tell you otherwise. Don’t be a sheep to preconceived notions about what’s right or wrong, normal or abnormal, acceptable and unacceptable. Draw your own conclusions, make your own choices. At the end of the day, we’re all in the dark here. There is no ultimate source of knowledge to dictate to the world. What we know, we know because someone had the courage to think for himself or herself, had the courage to stand up for what they believe, had the dedication to try to explain it to others, so that maybe they can find new ways of understanding themselves.

“We are vampires, don’t misunderstand. Literature cannot do us right. Literature cannot necessarily define us. No one bursts into flames. No one turns into bats. Most of us enjoy garlic, and most of us do not sleep in coffins. We are normal, human. We are unknown in society, and it is through our own personal beliefs and choices that we make ourselves known. It’s time people open their eyes and start trying to understand what has been sitting in plain sight, not hiding from them. It’s time to cooperate with each other and gain a better understanding of who we are as a society, do you not agree? Although different, we are all human. And as humans, should we not strive to better ourselves and our communities?

“I am a vampire, and my means of acquiring what I need is through the ingestion of blood. My best friend is a vampire, and he takes what he needs through the acquisition of energy. Our friend is a vampire, and she uses both means of feeding in order to satisfy her needs. We are different, but we are the same. Any questions?”

Risks

This is irrational and makes no goddamn sense,

Putting thoughts into words is so hard

And writing thoughts down on paper is confusing,

Because I'm still unsure of where I am to start.

This isn't possible, isn't right. NO.

Irrational and futile conversations

That have no point in any form of language,

Things that shouldn't be mentioned,

Things that shouldn't be known.

Not yet anyway.

This is complicated and shouldn't be spoken,

Too fast, too complete, too... new.

Can't wrap my mind around it,

And I don't think I want to anymore.

Life was good when feelings were cold,

And when nothing could be felt for miles.

You're a child. You know you are,

To bring my hopes up and confuse me again,

For as the night advances and darkens descends,

When dreams envelop my sleepy mind,

There's no other place I'd rather be

Than in your sleepy arms.

I don't want to protect you, and fight the world for you,

I have no interest, in hurting them for you.

I would step in your shoes, and take a cut for you,

Give up some sleep to take care of you,

Turn off my cell and spend time with you,

Take off my clothes and have fun with you,

Tear down my walls and open up to you.

I don't want this, it makes me miserable,

I can't stay awake, and my migraine's horrible.

I keep running in circles, my mind makes no sense,

I wish you were closer to fix this.

This isn't normal, this can't be right...

I do really love you, but is it like that?

Nothing makes sense, I want to scream,

The best about you, you're not him.

I guess... it's time to take a risk?

Your Poem

I always took pride in the cold heart in my chest,

When it did not beat, it did not feel a thing, I was well.

Antarctica seemed warm, and almost tropical...

My heart was nothing in comparison.

I met you, just as shallow and guarded as me,

Talked to me about this broken heart you wore on your sleeve...

And although my heart was sealed, and given to someone else,

I seemed to care a bit, although.... I had no interest.

We spoke and laughed, and joked...

We texted, emailed, called...

We dreamed so very often,

It was sweet. It was. Is.

Time passed, you've broken your heart,

Broken hearts, broke my heart...

You've passed through hoops,

And ran around,

You talked to me, and gathered ground...

And now... now here I sit,

I'm actually writing this ...

Or attempting to.

I love all you do, the way you make me smile...

I love everything about you except the one...

How you make me want to be better,

And drop down my walls,

Make me want to fight harder, (That's no surprise)

You make me wanna be defenseless,

And fall down to my knees...

Pull you to my chest,

And give you what you need.

You make me week,

You make me strong,

You make me afraid,

You make me happy,

You make me hopeful,

You make me yours.

Too Tired

Unable to focus, unable to think

Unable to listen to what I need...

I cannot keep going, my mind is too bleak

All out of energy, no more to deplete

I'd crawl into bed, dig under the covers,

Fall to the sheets and sleep forever.

Will You

You bleed me dry, my dearest...

For your life I give my own,

And in my death, I'll let you live

For innocent desires and lovely lullabies.

On my knees I beg, as I cry and bleed...

For Reaper's scythe is sharp,

And his hands are cold,

But know this, dearest one:

Since I die for you...

... Will you live for me?

For you

For you I fight the world,

And leave it all behind.

For you I hate myself

And destroy my doubts.

For you I breathe each day,

And work hard to stay alive.

For you I cry my tears,

And spend my nights alone.

For you I cut my skin,

And pray that you don't know.

For you I drop all else,

And rush to help you live.

For you are all I need,

And all I can, I give.

Victorious

It's a good feeling to know you got out alive,

You won the battles against all odds,

It feels good to look in the mirror

And know that all you fought for was worth it...

To know that nothing can stop you,

And you are victorious.

Until Then

I won't fight you any longer...

I simply cannot argue anymore...

You wanted me as broken as you are,

And you won. I am broken.

Do you sleep well darling?

Do you have wonderful dreams?

Are the demons around you still there?

Do you even fight them anymore?

Don't worry, in death I shall fix it,

Until then, fight for your life.

Thanks to you

I held your words as a bible,

And I fought to forgive what you said,

I stayed to protect you, you cheated

And even then I could not forget.

I forgot sleep and whatever was needed...

I gritted my teeth and pushed through,

For this fight that I fight was forgotten,

And even now I still cannot leave.

I'm alone now, and I am forgotten

Now I sit alone and break through.

You darling boy are a blessing

And thanks to you, I'm alive.

My Turn

My turn to watch you sleep now,

My turn to watch your dreams,

You look so innocent

Like such a child.

You're safe under the covers,

You're dreaming sweetest dreams...

You're so, so peaceful,

It's a pleasure to be in your shoes now.

Grim Reaper

All misconceptions should be left at the door,

For I am nothing like you have imagined.

I am tall and handsome, I am smart and strong,

For I decide the fate of all who meet me.

You think that I am gory, or heartless and cold.

But dearest, reconsider, all that you have known.

I am the night incarnate, the darkest of them all...

I am the killer darling, that cannot be escaped.

I'll knock your socks off, sweetheart,

And I will change your life,

Once you love me truly,

You cannot leave alive.

Listen

I may never have been good enough to introduce to your friends,

Not good enough to meet your parents or go to openings,

Not good enough to drop everything for and sacrifice yourself,

Not good enough to the first in your book...

But I'll tell you one thing, dearest:
I am good enough to meet all your friends.

I am good enough to impress your parents.

I am good enough to be sacrificed for.

I am good enough to be first.

Maybe I'll never be good enough for you.

Maybe I'll never be smart enough for you.

Maybe I'll never be pretty enough for you.

Maybe I'll never be worth it all to you.

Maybe I'll never be strong enough for you.

Maybe I'll never be the one you want.

But...

I am good enough for myself.

I am smart enough for myself.

I am pretty enough for myself.

I am worth enough for myself.

I am good enough for whatever I want.

Either love me, or don't... but if you do not...

There will be someone else willing to love me...

Someone else willing to fight for me...

Someone willing to work for me...

There will be someone else

To take the vacant place at my side.

I can guarantee that.

What I cannot guarantee

Is that I'll be as happy with him

As I ever was with you.

Or that you'll be as happy with anyone else

As you could have been with me.

Tell me to stay, and I won't leave your side,

Tell me to go, and I'll be out.

All we've got

Blood shot eyes and silent prayers

Sent to a bloody sunrise sky

Falling slowly through the nightmares

In another eastern sky.

Talk me out of leaving you,

Tell me you need me to stay...

In your other waking moments

Tell me you're coming my way.

Tell me you need me around,

Show me how much you care,

For in my last waking moment

I need a reason to stay.

Stop telling me all of your reasons

Be the man you are

For at the end of every day,

We're all we've got.

Porcelain Soldier

Too tired of this nonsense
Your tears have turned to blood,
And in your waking moment
I see you're so much more.
A broken doll was placed
Right upon my palm,
A broken hearted soldier
Has marched to his last song...
Inside your tiny mirror
Two eyes stare back at you
With broken promises,
With lies you never knew...
But as a lost instance,
You fall to your knees
You spend another moment
Forgiving me.

Catatonic

Catatonic and unresponsive you lay there,

No significant increase or decrease

To pump your blood

To send shivers down your spine,

You and I.

Unresponsive and catatonic

I fall to my knees and remain there

I cannot be moved by anyone else,

All they can do is stare

In an empty soul that used to be

Yours and mine.

Irrelevant matters unfold

Together in an instant thought

A dead soul inside our bodies,

Two bleeding bodies to share one soul...

We used to be so happy together

You and I.

Revolution

Dark clouds to hold god's darker creatures,
Free from blame, consequence and action...
Within their grip lay broken bodies,
Within their grasp are pools of blood.
A race so different than humans imagine
A life so dark and so void of reason,
No purpose left, no joy in misery
And in their grip, the enemy will fall.
You listen now to the rhythm of their war drums
And pray again to your deafer gods...
No reason for forgiveness...
These creatures are more than what you are.
Time to lock them inside your cages,
Force them to submission,
Beat out their defiance,
Tie them with your collars,
And watch them fight back.

Don't let them escape,
Because they'll be your death.

Please

Negative poems of negative moments

Suppressing, repressing, and stressing

Give me the present of the present,

And make my dreams come true.

Pull me from my misery, please!

Take my arms and pull me closer.

Cradle my heart and make sure

I'm alive for tomorrow.

I want to hide in your arms

And keep the world at bay.

Be strong when I'm not

And take me away.

Weather

It's windy outside, and the rain is pouring,
Tear drops fall from a distant paradise,
And we fall apart under the weight
Of our day to day moments,
Of our fears.
We hold on to the last inch of humanity,
Grab a hold of the fabric and pull...
Every single direction, every second...
We obliterate everything.
Sinking our teeth like vampires
And sucking everything dry.
Without purpose or reason,
Without faith and courage.
It's windy outside and it's pouring...
Blood drops from our paradise.

Untitled

With your hands on my ass, and against the wall,
Your lips on my neck and your breath on my skin,
With your chest pressed against, two succulent breasts
And your impatience racing through your veins.
With your lips on my flesh ready to rip through my clothes,
Your knee between my sinfully white legs,
With your tongue everywhere and your breath close to sin
And the passion within burning to the surface.
You're impatient and firm in your temper and whim,
You're strong and quite forceful when it comes to the bedroom.
You're a man and a child, experienced and terrified,
You're mine and I'm yours, now shed all those clothes.

You

You bend me and break me,
You cut me and shake me,
You ask me and make me,
You love me and hate me.
You release me and tape me.
You chisel and shape me.
You hurt me and fake me.
You bring me and take me.
You fuck me and wake me.
You want me and rape me.

Never the same two days in a row,
You butchered me into letting you go...
Now I'm alone and letting you know
I'm stronger than ever...
Thanks to you.

The Difference

I'm so over this shit and my apparent attitude problem,

When you motherfuckers don't even know what's going on!

How the hell do you expect me to give a rats ass
About something I never cared for to begin with?

Overachieving, unrealistic idiots!

How the fuck is MY attitude a problem,

When you're the ones ignorant to everything around,

You wouldn't last one motherfucking day in my shoes.

NOT ONE day!

"Watch it, young lady" or you'll do what?

Touch me and I'm out of your miserable life.

Yell at me more and I'm on my way out

But I'll paint your fucking house in my blood.

"You're being slimy" Oh, am I now?

I told you I'd like to give a fuck 'bout

All you have to say, yet... guess what? I don't.

I can't give a shit. I wasn't born to.

I do all the work that needs to be done,
Go to school full time, deal with it all alone...

The love in my heart is broken and bruised,

And I've been a whore, have been used.

If you knew all the shit that I currently know,

Have been to the places where I currently go,

Talked to all the fuckers that I have talked to,

You wouldn't last a day in my shoes.

Have you seen the things that I have?

Have you killed all the fuckers that I have?

Have you lost your mind as I have?

Have you lived and died as I have?

You don't know SHIT about me and my life

About why I don't sleep and I do not cry,

About why I slit my wrists and prayed to die,

No. You don't know a thing about life.

I have an attitude problem, eh?

You want to wake up every day

Whereas I don't give a shit

If tomorrow never sets its eyes on me.

You fight so hard to improve your life,

But do you cheat, and kill? Do you lie?

Do you battle the dark and do you lose your mind?

You should be grateful there's a place to hide.

With witchcraft, the demons got bigger and stronger,

With blood, came responsibility to live longer,

With wings, came the fight to protect,

With being human, I bled.

You don't know what goes bump in the night,

The darkness inside that's always up for a fight...

I wish you did, some times...

Because being alone sucks.

I wonder if you could change your mind about me,

And know what I do to keep you safe and happy,

Know what I deal with on a day to day basis

And know why I pray for my ending.

You spend your time worrying about whats to come

And how it will affect you and your plans,

I don't worry about that shit, I know what's ahead,

I worry about when it comes and how to keep you alive.

I don't have an attitude problem, it's just,

That I think your issues are nonsense and jokes.

You worry about the future and fight to improve,

I worry about today and how to get through.

You have been

You have been my darkness and you have been my light.

You have been my peace and you have been my fight.

You have been my earth and you have been my flight.

You have been my wrong and you have been my right.

You have been my shadows and you have been my bright.

You have been my maybe and you have been my might.

You have been my peasant and you have been my knight.

You have been my bark and you have been my bite.

You have been my days and you have been my night.

You have been my questions and you have been my sight.

Tainted

Once so innocent and pure,

You're now a tainted creature...

Your white wings have gathered dust...

The time has come, my dearest lover

To spread them high.

The blood that you've been drinking

Has turned your wings to black.

But now you've grown into your skin

And have become yourself,

Now there's a woman in your shoes

And will begin your life.

Although you're tainted now, my dear

You have always been...

This has been your destiny

For all these centuries.

But in your tainted glory, love,

You have lived your life.

In your last moment alive

Take off into the bloody sky.

Winged

Black winged creatures fill the Western sky,

And no one below ever wonders...

No doubts about their purpose here,

No questions required, no fear...

These winged people have always been here

Present always, absent never,

Hidden away under layers of ignorance,

Under layers of history,

Under the earth itself,

Behind the dark side of the moon...

Around.

Winged creatures fill the Eastern sky,

And in their presence all will bow,

For they are innocent, and ruthless.

For they are dead and still alive.

For they are demons in disguise.

All we've got

Bloodshot eyes and silent prayers

Sent to a bloody sunrise sky,

Falling slowly through the nightmares

In another eastern sky.

Talk me out of leaving you,

Tell me you need me to stay...

In your other waking moments

Tell me you're coming my way.

Tell me you need me around,

Show me how much you care,

For in my last waking moment

I need a reason to stay.

Stop telling me all of your reasons,

Be the man you are

For at the end of every day,

We're all we've got.

Empty

Empty days and Eastern skies

Filling empty dreams and empty lies

No green in your empty eyes,

No one shall hear your cries.

Let the silver moon just shine

Over tall tops of pine,

Remember, your suffering's mine,

Everything will be just fine.

Good Enough

Is she good enough to call at all hours?

Is she good enough to hear your dreams?

Is she good enough to have your answers,

When redemption is what you seek?

Is she good enough to cry to when the world sucks?

Is she good enough to be yelled at when you're drunk?

Is she good enough to worry about you

When you're lying limp on the ground.

Is she good enough to listen to your nonsense?

Is she good enough to hear your cries?

Is she good enough to put down everything

When you need her more than anything?

Is she good enough to be demeaned?

Is she good enough to be hated?

Is she good enough to be abused

When it makes you feel better?

Is she good enough to be broken hearted?

Is she good enough to cry for you?

Is she good enough to be your friend

When she wants so much more than that?

Am I good enough to be a toy?

Am I good enough to be a distraction?

Am I good enough to be enough

When nothing else is around?

Untitled

You know that I love you,

Adore you beyond words...

Have given you my everything,

My thoughts, my minds, my words.

I wrote you poetry and books,

I told you all my thoughts,

But now, my love, I have to say,

That I am done.

I love you so, so much, my dear...

I have been yours too long,

I've broken down the walls around me,

I have been your clown.

On my knees I've spent my nights,

Begging myself for strength

That I may stand and hold your hand

For yet another night.

I love you, darling, oh so much...

I would have given you all...

I have fought myself to the core,

And I have broken bones.

I cut my skin, I drank too much,

I tiptoed around these drugs...

I always fought too much to quit,

You have been my life.

You've been my angel, been my demon,

You've been my only one...

I adore you way too much,

I will adore you always.

But now I'm tired and I'm weak,

I'm too exhausted, way too sad,

I'm your best friend, and you're my life,

Gimme a reason to fight.

You are

I moan your name in my sleep

And I mutter your name when I dream.

I punch and I kick when I'm down

And when my heart bleeds, I scream.

I run to you when the world slits my wrists,

And your arms around me make me unseen.

I push it to the limit and when I need some strength,

And I have no worries. You're my extreme.

Job

At your side I stand, naked and exposed,

For in my wildest moment I cannot look away...

With my soul exposed and set down on the table

What am I now? If I am not your own?

Struggle to survive, am I now alone?

In my darkest moments, I firmly stand to guard,

All my wounds are bleeding, I am black and blue,

But as I stand here bleeding, I am protecting you.

Tarot

Spirit in transformation,

it's time to face your fate...

Come, now, the Wheel is spinning

You have no time to catch your breath.

You are the Devil, crossed by Death,

Temperance crowning you, the Priestess is beneath...

Behind you stands the Tower,

The fears you have are silly,

Your hope is for the King*

Your family's the Pope.

Spirit in transformation,

It's time to face your fate.

Come, the Wheel keeps spinning....

Your Judgment awaits!

*King= Emperor

Advice

Time is of the essence, dear,

You have no time to waste

Because although you're young, my pet,

You're older than you seem.

Try too hard, my love, do so

For on the darkest night,

Your destiny will order you,

Your new life will begin.

Writer

Scribbling your thoughts on paper,

How many have you had today?

The one thing that you count on, love,

Is something you just cannot say.

You fight for freedom, fight for truth

And when you're done, you fight some more,

For your thoughts are priceless, love,

Your mind is always wise.

The Big Bad

The big bad vampire has found a flaw,

A way to release herself...

She fights so hard to fight the thoughts,

She searches but she knows she's lost.

The soulless vampire has lost her mind,

And everything has changed,

The darkness just below the skin

Is starting to bleed red.

She's so confused, my darling bat,

But although cornered by her thoughts,

She'll rise to fight again.

Stalker

Charming young man, you really are,

With gorgeous eyes and crystal smile,

Dangerous and with disguise

You worry me sometimes.

As a wolf you walk towards me...

Sit alone and watch me...

Leave after you realize,

I know you're watching me.

Are you the predator,

Or are you a lamb?

Are you too innocent,

Or as I am?

You have a reputation, don't you?

Too bad and way too dangerous...

You haven;t heard mine, have you?

I'm mean, and cold, and deadly,

You want me, don't you? Wanna play?

Come over, let's have coffee dear.

I promise when I', through with you

You won't want to leave here.

Are you a predator,

Or are you my prey?

Will you be running,

Or will you stay?

Are you here for stalking,

Or are you here to play?

Never

Never ending, never breaking down...

Flawless and perfect as you hit the ground.

Never, you're a dream, an apparition!

You mean nothing! You are an illusion!

You are a thought, an idea, a choice...

No. Nothing. Nevermind.

Never crying, no tears hit the ground,

Chiseled lips are without flaw...

Never weak, you cannot be human!

What are you? Who are you?

Why are you here? Why?

Sigh. Okay. Very well.

Never changing, never leaving me...

Perfect human coming to my aid,

Never mind, I am yours again.

Cannot leave your side, I am your guardian.

Trust me, baby, I won't let you down.

Come, follow me, for you, my love, are my eternity.

Vampire

Bleeding random people into random cups

You are the demon making others scream,

You are the ultimate hunter, ultimate bad...

You are timeless, you are the dark.

Blood dripping in rivers down porcelain arms,

You go bump into the darkness making them all run,

You are the big bad vampire

You are all alone.

Eternal and elegant, you are the best...

Charming your way into submission,

You are the ultimate evil,

You are the blood-covered around.

You should see me now

You should see me now, I have changed so much

Since the time you held me in the palm of your hand...

I am so much stronger now, not as weak as then...

I am smarter also, I've never given in.

You should see me now, I'm wiser than I was,

Every day that passes, I wise up some more.

I am different now, not so innocent

Although you broke me down, I've NEVER given in.

You should see me now, I've grown up quite a bit,

The child inside me has been set free

And now I'm older, I have matured some more,

But just as you know, one foot is out the door.

You should see me now, my writing has improved,

The eloquence in it, just cannot be subdued.

My vocabulary expanded also, I'm quite the speaker now...

I'm sure it'd make you proud to find that out.

You should see me now, more elegant than then,

Even my composure is something else.

This vampire of yours has changed so much

But there's the part of me that still craves your touch.

You should see me now, and compare me, please!

To the girl you knew, the child you loved.

Tell me darling, if you saw me now,

Would you recognize me somewhere, somehow?

Danny

I'm stronger now, Danny, I really am,

I don't cry so much, nor do I cut my arm.

I'm smarter now, Danny, not as I was,

As time goes out, I'm much better with words.

I'm older now, Danny, almost nineteen,

No longer illegal for you to be with me.

I'm gorgeous now, Danny, a woman so young,

I think you'd be proud with me on your arm.

I'm wiser now. Danny, no longer a fool...

No longer so silly to be into you.

I'm better now, Danny, I promise I am.

I no longer hold hope to my heart.

I'm magical now, Danny, I play with all faiths,

Karma does not hold any candle to my will.

I'm a vampire now, Danny, the heart in my chest

Gathered cobwebs and spreads my venom throughout.

I'm healed now, Danny, the hurt that you left,

Doesn't sting as much, it's no longer loose, I no longer feel it, I'm no longer used.

I'm cared for now, Danny, and although I'm alone

I'm finally letting myself let you go.

Delicate

You're new to this picture, love...

I have not seen your face before.

And in your innocence, you seem too kind.

You snuggle close inside my warm bed

My shoulder, pillow to your sleepy head.

I do not mind your presence, dearest one,

Your nature is so shy, so delicate and I

Would help you darling

If anything around was there to harm you, dear.

You are safe now, at my side,

You don't have to talk

Unless you choose to speak

And if you speak my dear, do not speak quietly

For silence is the speech of a tortured soul.

Have no fear, my dear,

You're safe.

Vampire's Hunger

Underneath the skin the acid burns,

Inside the darkness of the broken soul

And in the innocence of silky breaths

The heartbeat crashes and breaks.

Inside the darkened mind thoughts awaken,

In the last moment the knees give way

And as the monster falls, its eyes pool over,

And tears stream down its paling cheeks.

A roar escapes the husky throat,

And arms reach towards the cloudy sky,

Denial is an Egyptian river,

For it's not allowed inside the monster's soul.

With fading wills and darkened thoughts

The monster cries and fills itself

With the regret that needs to run its course.

The body isn't limp in the monster's arms,

His head is bowed, his hair is in his eyes,

And through the strands, he does look terrified.

She lets him go, and backs quickly away...

She's so sorry, she's so, so sad...

She cannot put into words what she has done.

Her self control has shattered,

Her darker side took over...

He's alive, and he's okay...

But this monster is evil...

It's all she has...

It's......

The vampire's hunger.

We

You are but a child, I have a timeless soul...

Inside my veins there is, an instinct that still flows.

You breathe the sunshine, darling,

I breathe the winter nights,

And in my darkest hour I will be at your side.

For I am darkness, sweetheart...

The demon within has no boundaries

And leaks through my skin.

I know my purpose, darling. I know what I shall do,

When the clock strikes midnight, on that certain day,

My wings shall call the wind and pull me away.

You're wonderful, dearest, you really are, you know...

I care for you so much, more than I should...

More than I possibly can. More than I allow,

And yet not enough.

If my heart were an ocean, you would be but a wave

And that wave is calm but gaining speed.

I shouldn't say this, dearest, I should not give it thought,

For in your innocence, you fear it not.

The point, is that I'm scared, and worried and alone...

Afraid that before we merge together,

Your, or I'll be gone.

A slave

I told myself this would not happen,

I would not fall a slave to my own soul...

I faltered in my judgement,

And on my knees, I take the floor.

I find my wrists are bleeding,

My darkness overwhelmed...

I am a slave to my own instinct,

I am. And I love you.

With and without you

I stood at the top of the world and looked down

Giggling and laughing safely from your side.

I held on to the railing, and held on to your hand,

Dangled my feet over the side without a second thought.

I basked in the light and the darkness atop,

And breathed the clear air and the color of the world.

I touched my chest and felt my heart beating,

The soul within me had not but a scratch.

I traced my visions in pencil on papers,

And saw you forever holding my hand.

I was safe on the top of the world,

Safe at your side.

I fell from my throne and on my way down,

I checked my side, and you did not fall.

I hit the ground and smashed my head to the cement,

Stood up and dusted myself off.

I looked at the heavens and smiled knowing you're still there,

Standing strong, and laying around lazy in the sun.

I looked around at the world I fell in,

And the color had gone, and the sound had faded.

I checked my clothing, and found it painted black, and wet,

The blood from my veins seeping through.

I touched my chest, and there was no heart, no hope...

There is no life in your absence, and I descended to hell.

You and I

You are light, I am darkness.

You are smart, I am dumb.

You are big, I am tiny.

You are gorgeous, I am plain.

You are thoughtful, I am thoughtless.

You are careful, I am careless.

You are good, I am evil.

You are strong, I am weak.

You are hers, I am yours.

Compared to you

Compared to you, a being of light, I am dark, and morbid and cold.

Compared to you, an intelligent human, I am dull and silly and dumb.

Compared to you, a gorgeous appearance, I am careless and a bit of a slob.

Compared to you, an excellent speaker, I am slurry and cannot say a thing.

Compared to you, a storybook writer, I am talentless and out of a job.

Compared to you, a fascinating person, I am boring and morbidly plain.

Compared to you, a patient human, I am thoughtless and careless and hard.

Compared to you, a fabulous artist, I am without prayer.

Compared to you, a wonderful scholar, I am stupid and incompetent.

Compared to you, a wealthy individual, I am just plain and without promise.

Compared to you, a calculated person, I am careless and throw all caution to the wind.

Compared to you, a fantastic lover, I am inexperienced and shy and held back.

Compared to you, a warm hearted human, I am a snake with black acid within me.

Compared to you, a heavenly person, I am a demon, a devil, a monster.

Compared to you, a perfect being, I am flawed and very imperfect.

Compared to you, always so sure of yourself, I falter.

Compared to you, always so composed, I love much too much.

Compared to you I fade in the background.

Searching

Can you hear me? I keep screaming your name.

Can you see me? I keep waving my arms.

Can you? Can you? Can you?

Through darkened graveyards I keep looking for you,

Between headstones and tombstones,

Between rotting corpses and dying trees,

I am searching, I am not giving up.

They cut me and beat me, slice open my skin,

Stick their hands inside these open wounds,

And pull hard on the organs inside me

But I keep searching, I am not giving up.

They throw me outside into the dirt,

They kick me and push me away...

The wounds they inflicted keep bleeding and bleeding,

I cannot stop, I must go on.

I crawl through the shadows, can you feel me coming?

I muffle my pain, I will find you first,

I will get you to safety, I will fight for your life,

Then collapse. Know I love you.

Can you hear me? I keep screaming your name.

Can you see me? I keep waving my arms.

Can you? Can you? Can you?